Profile: Matt was a student at RIT, where for some reason he never went to class, but instead invented time machines and created Lara. He jointly owns the Bald Ninja Brewery with Steve.
Interests: Beer, Video game RPGs, Cars, (RIT)'
Weapon of Choice: Sword
Profile: Steve used his and Matt's contest winnings to purchase the Bald Ninja Brewery from an ancient sect of Ninja. He is bitter and cynical due in part to his days at RIT.
Occupation: Soldier of Justice
Interests: Justice, Beer, Cats
Weapon of Choice: Sword, Energy
Profile: Lara was created when some magic sneezing powder caused Matt to sneeze on her character drawing. She is a soldier of justice and stands by Matt and Steve. Her naivety frequently causes her a bit of confusion.
Interests: Science, Metaphysics, Rich Boys
Weapon of Choice: None
Profile: Aliens abducted Matt and impregnated him; Zita is the result of his pregnancy. She grew up very fast and has a high capacity for learning.
Occupation: Zombie (Former Student)
Interests: Biology, Medicine, Brains
Weapon of Choice: Throwing Knife
Profile: Sally was a dear friend of Matt and Steve, despite being a zombie. Her quirky personality endeared her to many people. She was eventually killed under mysterious circumstances.
Interests: Steve, Zombies, Dogs
Weapon of Choice: Claws
Profile: Angela was Steve's girlfriend, but was later revealed to be a demon sent to gain his trust and then kill him. She was last seen being chewed up by a woodchipper.
Interests: Restoring inner peace, Killing people for no reason at all, Regaining lost glory.
Weapon of Choice: Ninja Weapons
Profile: This mysterious sect of the ninja is interested in Steve because of his stealthy hair, which they believe to be the key to regaining the lost glory of their ancestors.
Occupation: Registered Nurse
Interests: The Occult, Ponies, Enchiladas, Helping People, Steve
Weapon of Choice: Brass Knuckles
Profile: Steve's late girlfriend. She assisted Steve on his quest to find Angela because she found him to be a very interesting boy, leading to her untimely death at the hands of John F. Kennedy
Profile: Melinda is a secretary for ZMB Corp who works under Matt. She was apparently cloned and is part of a coverup from the Masterdam branch of the company.
Interests: Boys, Imaging Science, Pancakes
Weapon of Choice: Sex Appeal
Profile: Linda is Zita's obnoxious roommate and a research assistant in the imaging science department. She is very intelligent, which irks Zita to no end, especially since Linda acts rather promiscuous.
Profile: Zita's best college buddy, Kenneth keeps Zita sane during her conflicts with Linda and helps make college life fun.
Weapon of Choice: Zombie-Based Distributed Denial of Service Attacks
Profile: Belliard is a potential villain in the future, but runs Satis Corp under ZMB's umbrella and is a potential ally for Matt.
Interests: Linux, Counterstrike, Women that talk to him
Weapon of Choice: Hockey Stick
Profile: Bill is an IT major at RIT. He has an emotional relationship with linux and likes to play counterstrike.
John F. kennedy
Interests: Killing Zombies, Being Impervious to Bullets
Weapon of Choice: Revolver
Profile: John F. Kennedy has risen from the grave with one goal in mind: Destroy All Zombies!
Occupation: Evil Corporate Mastermind
Interests: Power, Origami, Tea, Power, Online Trivia Games, More Power
Weapon of Choice: His Cunning Mind
Profile: Preston Masterdam is one-third of ZMB and seemingly behind the plot to use clones of Sally to gain control of a terrifying all-powerful device.
Occupation: Mysterious Little Girl
Interests: Being Mysterious
Weapon of Choice:
Profile: Serafina is a mysterious little girl who can telepathically contact Steve and who appears to be working with Masterdam. Masterdam seems to wield some control over her. She seems to know a lot about Lara.
Occupation: International Spy
Interests: Gadgetry, Women, Impersonating Jesus
Weapon of Choice: Spy Tools
Profile: Jonathan Godot is a spy that Matt met at a frat party. Jon enjoys saving the world and impersonating Jesus. This did not register well with the Anti-Blasphemer Detection and Destruction Machine.
Occupation: Television Executive, Evil Mastermind
Interests: Pain, Torture, High Ratings, Revenge
Weapon of Choice: Dull Sitcoms
Profile: Geddy Richards was the executive producer of "Survivor: New York City Ghetto" before he was apparently killed by Matt. He was later revealed to be the hidden tormentor af Matt and crew and was eaten by Sally, who thought him a tasty brain snack.